Cultivating an Amicable Relationship with Fear – Week 4
Hello Dear One,
Welcome to Week 4 of the Cultivating an Amicable Relationship with Fear series. How did your inquiry go with the questions asked in last week’s newsletter? How has your week been?
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One of the most magical things that happens when I go on a satisfactory vacation is the sweet spot I experience when I come home. There is always a window of opportunity for me to amp up my intentional curiosity. In this brief time, it seems to be easier to ask whether I want to continue to manage my life as I did before I went on vacation. It can be as simple as questioning whether I still want to start my day with a cup of coffee, or would I like to switch things up with a of cup of jasmine green tea? Or, it can be as large as using that sweet spot to start a new self-care discipline.
You may have that window of opportunity right now. All of us are faced with moving out of isolation and into a new way to connect with each other. The operative word is NEW.
May we all move forward into a new way of connecting with the world, rather than fall into old patterns of managing.
May you move into this expansion with your eyes open, your curiosity on board and in an amicable relationship with your fear. Remember that fear supports your responding rather than reacting (see week 1), your availability to let go of an adamant stance (see week 2) and your skillful application of discernment (see week 3).
Blessings to you and yours from,
Show Up, Choose to Be Present
Follow What Has Heart and Meaning
Tell the Truth Without Blame or Judgment
Be Open to Outcome, Not Attached to Outcome
These ‘marching orders’ from Angeles Arrien’s Four Fold Way are wonderful to hold up in front of you as you navigate this transition into your life in a new way. It can be very helpful to pose them as depth questions. For example:
What has heart and meaning for me as I make choices today?
Where am I open to outcome and not attached to outcome?
How can I cultivate compassion for the part of me that is blaming today?
When is it easy for me to choose to be present?
Synchronicity Reigns! I opened up my email recently to one of Caroline Myss’ YouTube videos that she has been posting in support of her followers in this time. Just like my newsletter last week, she is teaching the skill set of discernment! The synchronicity of it made me smile, and I wanted to share that smile with you. As usual, she articulates so beautifully.
Breathe! Fritz Pearl said, “Fear is excitement without the breath.” This quote has been a tool for the strong fear impulse in me for years. So….use this tool! It’s a hard one, so write “Breathe!” (or the quote) on a post-it note, and put it right in front of your face on the bathroom mirror. Even if you can’t do it right then, and you can only tell yourself that it is a possible response, you’ll be better off.
I think that our breath is the main connection between all of our “voices” (physical, emotional, spiritual/intuitive and mental/rational). It is the one thing that we as humans can use to participate in our relationship with the unseen. Breath could be our physical conduit to the divine.
If you have ever had the luxury of sitting on the ocean shore for a long quiet moment, you have had the experience of the essential relaxation that happens when you give yourself “over” to the ebb and flow of the waves. What if this is the literal divine, that is Mother Earth, showing you how to relax (surrender) and connect (include the divine in managing life)? Notice how your breath is the same as the waves coming in and out of shore.
You don’t have to be at the seashore to access this clever resource for practicing being comfortable with discomfort. Tools for cultivating divine connection with your breath abound. Any meditation or yoga practice worth its salt will fit the bill. If you want to include your rational voice in learning this skill, add any of Pema Chodron’s writings to your “gathering information” list: like Places that Scare You or When Things Fall Apart.
Re-articulated from my free ebook 10 Tips for Managing Your Strong Emotions.